Jennifer Hurvitz is a Relationship Expert, Dating Coach, best- selling author, and host of the award-winning Doing Relationships Right Podcast. Divorced since 2014, Jennifer lives in Charlotte with her two awesome, college-aged sons (18 and 20).
Alright — tell us about your kids and a little background about how you balance working and momming.
My boys are BOTH at Syracuse this year- I’m an empty nester and I miss them every, single day! I was a SAHM for 20 years and only began my career 8 years ago when I got divorced and found myself alone, with the boys, and jobless. I made the best out of a pretty disastrous situation- I turned my divorce into my part-time job! But finding the time to balance my new biz and two teen-aged boys in high school was challenging!
What keeps your plate full these days?
Where do I begin? Lol! I’m a dating coach with a thriving practice, a podcast host of the award-winning Doing Relationships Right podcast, and a writer and the author of THREE relationship books! I also love to speak around the country all about getting your groove back after divorce and dating after a divorce. I’ve also written an award-winning TV pilot. I also do podcast coaching and social media marketing for other solopreneurs.
Do you work because you need to, want to, or some combination of both?
I work because my kids are watching. I want to show them that giving up is never an option; hard work and perseverance pays off, and the word “no” is not the end it’s just an opportunity to pivot. I’m working to save for my future when I no longer have alimony, and I’m on my own. That’s about as honest as it gets.
What does your day-to-day look like?
Walk us through your typical day. Ahhh! It’s much easier now that the boys are both away at school, but when I had them home- I was lucky to check my emails before 8am. When you own and run your own business it’s a gift and a curse; I have flexibility but I’m also hard on myself. I have to get things done on time, done correctly and I like them done a certain way! So, while most women might hire a team to do the work I’m doing- 1) I can’t afford it and 2) I do whatever I can so it’s done right! I would get up at 7am, get the boys off to school (everyday this was very important to me) and I’d start with my emails. Then move to all my social media accounts, look at my podcast schedule, check out if I was recording that day- and go from there. Every Tuesday for the last 4 years has been Podcast Tuesday where I post a new episode of the show. This is THE most critical day of the week and for the podcast. Consistency is key when you’re in social media marketing. I tried to get as much accomplished between 8am and 3pm before the boys rolled up from school, but of course, that couldn’t always happen. I had to schedule some of my recording or meetings with clients when they were at their Dad’s house.
How does being a working mom impact your kids — either positively or negatively?
My kids often say, “Mom, put down your phone,” or “When are you done recording?” and I get that pang of guilt in my stomach. Now that they’re in college, they kind of get it. Kind of. LOL. They think it’s sort of “cool” that their friends want to follow me on TikTok or listen to the podcast! They have both been guests; Zac, my youngest, has been on the show twice! They secretly love it as much as they say they are embarrassed by my career. There were many times when they were younger I was locked in my room writing a chapter for a book, editing a final blog, or working on a post, and I’m sure they felt neglected. But I also hope they saw how hard I worked to get to where I am today. I know they respect me for all the time and energy I’ve put in–we are a pretty solid team.
What holds the biggest tension in trying to manage everything?
Great question. It’s the need to be perfect. Do it all right, all the time. And I struggle with saying no! A coach that can’t set boundaries, have you ever? LOL! My kids were never really the issue, I stopped for them on a dime. Usually. And even now, when they call or FaceTime from school, I pick up– every time. The tension in managing everything is the need to always be at my best and keep putting out excellent content. I need to cut myself some slack!
What’s one resource that would make your life easier?
A personal assistant!! Oh, and maybe someone to feed me? ;)
How would you encourage other working moms who are overwhelmed and in the thick of it?
Schedule in time for yourself. Block in the time on your calendar. So funny, I tell my clients this all the time but never take my own advice! Meditate. Learn the right way to breathe. And pay someone to do the things you don’t like or don’t know how to do. Can’t edit your own podcast? Hire someone. No clue how to do techie stuff? Pay someone. No shame in paying the right people, so you have the time and energy to concentrate on the things you are good at!
Any last words about working motherhood?
I loved being a SAHM because I didn’t know what I was missing; when I got divorced and had no choice but to make shit happen, I realized just how much I missed working! If that makes sense? It’s like you don’t know until you know.